Rhythm & Flow Tennis

“Death kills us once. Fear kills us over and over again” – General Patton

“Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when you’re scared” – General Omar Bradley

Fear is the one thing that holds most athletes back from reaching their full potential. Some call fear “the thief of dreams”. Yet fear is a part of every human experience. The fear response is instinctive and a natural part of life. In modern life, we are afraid of our teachers, taking exams, being late, or being yelled at. We can also be afraid of failure or, strangely, what success may bring. Believe it or not though, the thing a lot of us fear most isn’t actually failing, but humiliation. We fear looking like fools. Why else do so many people insist that they fear public speaking fear more than death? Even race car drivers fear finishing in last place more than crashing. How many of us have thought, “What if I go out there, do my best and it’s not enough? What will people think?” We are deathly afraid of being perceived as losers.

Fearful people are so concerned with the possibility of failure that they choose not to act. They become immobilized. As they cannot cope with failure as an outcome, they instead of acting, do nothing. When fear of failure immobilizes, defeat is almost certain. Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is doing the thing you fear. It’s an act of volition. There’s always the option of giving in to fear and finding a way out of taking any risk. Of course, there is always the option of doing nothing. However, success isn’t won by those who don’t take risks. It’s not awarded to those who sit on their hands, do the safe thing, or assume a defensive, passive position. The ability to risk is the ability to seize initiative. Whatever is worth having, is worth taking a risk to get. Success demands taking action when the results are not guaranteed. It demands that you have the ability to risk defeat while acknowledging the possibility of failure and its consequences, and yet choose to act anyway.

Fear, especially in modern times, is not based on reality. There is no saber-toothed tiger chasing you on the tennis court, in the classroom, or at work. This modern fear is irrational and is derived from self-doubt. I like to think of the word “FEAR” standing for “False Expectations Appearing Real”. Everybody has experienced that strange feeling in their stomach the moment they had to go out to perform. The body gets engulfed with adrenalin, you may start to even shake or sweat from it. Logically you know that you are not going to die giving the performance, but you may feel you will, because fear isn’t mindful of the facts. Your thoughts of doubt generates your emotion of fear.

Fear is powerful, but know this. Whatever you fear, you can conquer. Courage, developed through action conquers fear. Courage is like a muscle. It atrophies through fear and inaction atrophies and flexes and strengthens through action. Instinct can be overcome by second nature, but it takes significant practice and repetition. Merriam-Webster defines second nature as “an acquired deeply ingrained habit or skill”. While fear is an instinctive response, you can train to make courage your second nature. Just like you use workouts to develop strength and flexibility, you can create workouts to develop courage. Your workouts should start small and increase in difficulty and duration until action becomes second nature and overcomes your natural fear.

I have always been very afraid of heights. In the time and place I grew up, all boys had to do military training once they turned 18 years old. Off I went after high school and ended up in the paratroopers, not by choice and definitely not to conquer my fear of heights. I don’t consider myself courageous and trust me, it goes against every instinct to jump out of a perfectly good airplane. But the training was rigorous and while I still don’t like heights I can jump confidently from a plane. Military training is effective because it is so repetitious. You do what you’re trained to do over and over again until you no longer even have to think about it. Your “second nature” starts to override your “instinctive nature”. This is what prevents fear from dictating what you should do, which is good, because fear will propel you either to do the wrong thing or to do nothing at all.

How can you develop the courage to face fear? You need to get to the point where you trust yourself enough to act and risk defeat even in the face of fear. Here are some things you can do to build this trust in yourself:

1. Establish shorter-term performance goals that are measurable instead of longer-term outcome goals. Sometimes the enormity of a task can be overwhelming. If you set short term goals that are achievable, you slowly build the courage to eventually face bigger tasks. Plan your work and work your plan.
2. Sweat in peace. In the military there is a saying: ‘The more you sweat in peacetime, the less you bleed in war”. Whenever you’re afraid of something coming up, find a way to do something even harder and scarier. Your workouts need to be vigorous. Make your training twice as hard as the actual competition. Do repetition until whatever you’re working on becomes second nature. You can always stage a bigger battle than the one you have to face. Before big title fights, Muhammed Ali sparred against the best boxers he could find. He made his workouts so hard that the actual title fight felt easy.
3. Remind yourself of past experiences that took courage. Knowing that you’ve handled something difficult before is a formidable weapon against fear. Some people like to keep a journal or a diary where they write down daily experiences. Write down things that filled you with fear that you went ahead and did anyway. The “courage journal” serves as a reminder that you have taken risks and handled consequences, both good and bad.
4. Surround yourself with symbols that took courage like trophies, diplomas, and photos of accomplishment. Symbols serve as a mental “trigger”. They make you aware of tests passed, tournaments won, or ordeals endured. One glance at a symbol and your fear instantly dissipates. Remember, perception is everything. Perception may not be actual reality, but it is our perception of reality that influences our actions. When we perceive evidence of past courage, then we feel the confidence to take further risk.
5. Tell yourself a true lie. Most of us are unable to see the truth of who we could be. Form a picture in your mind of whom, or what, you want to be. Now act as if you are that person. Your subconscious mind does not know that you’re fantasizing. Fake it till you make it. The lie will become a truth.
6. Loose your cool. Show me a guy who’s afraid to look bad and I’ll show you a guy you can beat every time. Learn to lose your cool and take some risks.
7. Run toward your fear. The world’s best kept secret is that on the other side of fear there is freedom.

These tips will get your “courage muscle” in shape to face the fire. You won’t be rid of your fears necessarily, but you will no longer be paralyzed by them. You will trust yourself to act and risk defeat, even in the face of fear.